Spring Breakers (4/5 Stars)

Perhaps it would surprise you if I described this as a religious movie. I’m not saying you will find Jesus here, but a religious dichotomy pervades it. There is no room for some moral middle ground. A person can be either all good or all evil. 

Four young women (Rachel Korine, Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez) faced with the prospect of what to do with their Spring Break can either stay in Kentucky and go to church meetings or they can go down to Florida and party on the beach. And oh what a party it is! Spring Break in Florida is not an idle vacation. The director Harmony Korine’s vision of it makes clear that hard drugs, harder alcohol, gratuitous nudity, fornication, and illegal public disturbances are all mandatory. What’s more, entrance to this MTV fever dream party requires a test of dishonor to prove the travelers have the requisite bad intentions to gain admission. The four women are extremely low on funds and will not have enough money to last the week. So they do what must be done. Two of the girls (Ashley and Vanessa) don hoodies and with hammers and realistic squirt guns hold up a restaurant. They rob the register and patrons while screaming that they will kill anyone who moves.

The first half of the movie is seen through the eyes of Selena Gomez. She is the most good of the four women. In Kentucky we see her attending the type of church groups that have a charismatic preacher and get everyone to sit in a circle and sing Alleluia. For anyone not initiated with this type of group think religious fervor it is not unlike being on drugs. It can be very inspiring and a lot of fun. It is on the opposite side of the spectrum from Spring Break, but the passionate experiences being chased are not dissimilar. One just happens to be all good and the other all evil. Selena’s experience is glimpsed darkly through director Harmony Korine deft use of voiceover poetry, multiple layers of editing, and neon cinematography. It’s a wild trip until all things go wrong and the four women land in jail for underage and illegal everything. The shock of the situation is too much for Selena and she takes the next bus back to Kentucky with tears in her eyes. And that’s when things get really wild. The moral anchor of the movie has been let loose and the three other women remain in Spring Break land to see how deep the hellhole goes.

Your friendly guide to the underworld is a drug dealer/rapper named “Alien.” As he likely to explain on numerous occasions, he is not of this planet. “Alien” is played by one of my favorite people (not actors, people) James Franco. Alien has many tattoos, lots of bling, dreadlocks, and a giant grill. Someone asks if he is rich? “Yeah I’m rich. Take a look at my mouth.” Oh boy do I love this character. There is a particularly great scene where he takes the three women on a tour of his house and just points out stuff saying, “Look at my shit! I got all this shit! Look at my shit!” I was immediately reminded of the chapter in “American Psycho,” where Patrick Bateman takes about ten pages to list all the stuff in his apartment. To make it all complete, Alien even has the 1983 version of “Scarface” starring Al Pacino on a 24/7 loop. Reader, if there is one way to tell you are dealing with a grade-A moron it is their overwhelming admiration for “Scarface.” Scarface is a conspicuous consumer who amasses material possessions without enjoying them, who becomes a paranoid coke addict, whose family deserts him, who murders his best friend, who dies a horrific death, who is the real life inspiring figure and role model for idiots everywhere. What I absolutely love is that James Franco is the complete opposite of “Alien.” He is after all the type of person who having already achieved fame and fortune decided to enroll at UCLA (BA), Columbia (MFA), Yale University (PHD), and now the Rhode Island School of Design to basically study for fun. His performance is a winking one but it is good enough to the point where it should still fool the fools. People who are inspired by Scarface should find “Alien” to be the real thing too. For the rest of us, there are lots of laughs including what is sure to be one of the best scenes of the year: James Franco at a white piano at sunset singing Britney Spear’s “Everytime” while the three women armed with semi-automatics cavort around with matching pink hoodies and swimsuits. I almost fell out of my seat. 

In essence, if you were ever curious as to what a cloistered nun with a tendency to see the devil everywhere Jesus isn’t may think what goes on during Spring Break than this is the movie to see. Real life is probably much more mundane. I’ve never been to Florida Spring Break but I have been to places where they have the same kind of dancing i.e. the type where people shift their weight from foot to foot, jump up and down, and wave their hands in the air ad infinitum. It is essential to employ various quick editing techniques and blare loud music to make this look like it is a fun thing to do. In real life it is a rather rote experience and one generally needs to be under the influence to enjoy it. At least that is what I have been told numerous times by numerous people after expressing my own confusion. Have you ever been to a big-tent religious festival where people dance around and speak in tongues? I would assume it would be better to be totally stoned for that experience too.  

p.s. It is my opinion that Scarface is a great movie. I do recognize that and like the movie. I just happen to think only an idiot would want to be like Scarface.