It’s the Zombie Apocalypse and Jesse Eisenberg still can’t get laid.
Zombie movies really don’t have much leeway in terms of originality. There like the opposite of a superhero movie or a James Bond flick. A lot of what makes those distinguishable from each other would be a new villain with an ingenious way to take over the world. In Zombie movies the enemies are always the same. They are zombies. And by Zombie rules, how they plan to take over the world never changes: They will relentlessly stalk you and eat your brains. So what sets some zombie movies apart from other zombie movies usually has more to do with style than substance. Some are social commentary, some are thrillers, some try for laughs. But putting aside genre differentiations all of them have one thing in common: They are incredibly predictable. This can be boring (I am Legend) or this can be comforting (Shaun of the Dead). Like I said, it usually depends on the story teller and how they use the rules.
In this movie, the rules are used for comedic purposes. The zombies are oafish and stupid. And they move just slow enough that the heroes can be clever in how to dispatch them. Woody Harrelson is perfectly cast as Tallahassee, a gung-ho zombie killer. Here's an exchange that describes him perfectly
Jesse Eisenberg: You're one of those guys that constantly have to top everybody, aren't you?
Woody: No, I once knew a guy who was better at it than I am.
It’s hard to keep count of all the weapons he kills zombies with (banjo, shotgun, car door, machine gun, garden shears, etc.) because he never uses the same weapon twice. But to say the primary purpose of this movie is to create clever ways to kill zombies is selling it short. The movie has another more difficult subplot than survival in zombieland and that is this movie’s mission to somehow get Jesse Eisenberg laid. And if you thought that would be a relatively easy thing to do what with the near extinction of the human species, then you probably haven’t seen a movie starring Jesse Eisenberg.
Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland) is like the poor man’s Michael Cera (Superbad, Juno). He’s oppressively neurotic, awkward, and paranoid. But unlike a Michael Cera character that seems to be at least reacting to strenuous outside forces, Eisenberg gives off the sense that these attributes are inherent. He starts off awkward and perhaps because his he senses how pathetic he is, all his actions seem like he’s consistently apologizing for being such a loser. In this movie he is a self described loner who before the zombies took over, spent all his time playing Warcraft and drinking Code Red Mountain Dew. He calls the pretty girl down the hall “406" because that’s the number of her apartment and he hasn’t bothered to introduce himself. Like I said, surviving zombies isn’t the most difficult plot problem this movie has set out to overcome.
I wouldn’t have been surprised if the idea for this movie started off with Eisenberg’s problem and that the writers came up with zombies because they couldn’t think of any other way to solve it. After meeting up with Tallahassee, Jesse happens upon two sisters who haven’t been zombified yet. One (Emma Stone from Superbad) happens to be just about his age. What's even more convenient is that the gung-ho Tallahassee is more interested in Hostess Twinkies than women. So that means there is absolutely no competition. He’s the last man on Earth and she is the last women. Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be enough. Emma Stone ditches him several times and even steals his guns and his car.
But this movie is just getting started. Emma Stone somehow forgets several cardinal zombie rules while at an amusement park and her and her kid sister (Abigail Breslin) become hopeless damsels in distress. Jesse and Tallahassee come to the rescue in a gorey carnival zombie killing climax! Now he’s got to happen, I mean, he just totally saved her life. Please tell me he at least gets to first base. I’m not giving it away. You’ll just have to watch and find out.
There’s a certain romance to zombie movies that all the best ones key in on and that is our endless fascination with apocalypses. There is an ironic joy in being completely free of restrictions from your job, your family, or your civilization. In Zombieland there are no authority figures. The characters smash up an Indian casino for fun and play golf inside Bill Murray’s abandoned mansion. They need a car so they just take an abandoned yellow hummer they find in the middle of the street. No strings attached, the owner is dead and the car works fine. I get the sense that this would be a very fun movie to work on. To think when I was Abigail Breslin’s age I was in goddamn grade school. I think at that age I would have rather been in Zombieland.
Overall I felt the movie was probably funny. I say it that way because I saw it on Thursday Night at 10:00 pm and I was practically the only person in the theater. I laughed out loud several times but didn’t hear anybody else titter. It’s hard to gauge a comedy completely alone. At least I thought it was funny. Although, there was some unneeded sentimentality in it. Sure its realistic that people would be a depressed upon remembering the death of family members, but come on, this is a zombie movie. If you dwell realistically on these things, it could become kind of depressing and boring (see that clunker I am Legend, god that movie sucked).
Note: there is a fine cameo by Bill Murray in which he plays himself. He exits perhaps too soon when he is killed in perhaps the stupidest possible way to die in a zombie movie.
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