Salt (3/5 Stars) July 29, 2010

Well, it didn’t suck. 

SALT is the new Angelina Jolie thriller. It was directed by Phillip Noyce and co-stars Liev Schreiber (Sabretooth from “X-Men”) and Chiwetel Ejiofor (“2012”). It was “written” by Kurt Wimmer. I put “written” in quotations because the screenplay, which involves Angelina Jolie as a CIA agent who might also be a Soviet spy, sort of functions on the level of an outline for a better thriller. All the dialogue is distinctly devoid of any colorful embellishment, creative synonyms, jokes, or the usual eccentricities that help enable actors to create distinct characters. If I’m not mistaken, only five characters in this movie actually had names. One of those five was contained to a single scene in the beginning and another is mainly seen through flashbacks. The President and the Russian Vice President are also around, but they serve mainly as assassination targets not people. This leaves Jolie, her CIA boss Schreiber, a counterterrorism dude played by Ejiofor, and countless unnamed security guards, spies, and thugs who are about to be dispatched very effectively by the aforementioned. There are twists in the story but they are about as unpredictable as you can expect from a story with only three characters. Nevertheless, I was surprised by how clueless the movie was willing to make the Americans look in order to further the plot. The USA looks like those poor pathetic white guys that find themselves in games with the Harlem Globetrotters. I mean, we are just getting schooled in this movie. Don’t worry; we still win, kind of. 



There’s a worn-out movie critic cliché that describes autopilot Hollywood plots as “interrupted by action sequences and the inevitable car chase climax, etc. etc.” This much used sentence infers that the movie would be better if the makers didn’t feel the need to supplement an interesting story with a car chase just because action movie needs at least one. That cliché doesn’t work here; in fact it is the other way around. The substandard plot, dialogue, and characters in this movie are distractions from otherwise decent action sequences and chase scenes. The movie moves when the action moves and comes to a standstill when people stop to talk. Given that it is probably easier to write witty dialogue than coordinate a decent action sequence, it is odd how this movie didn’t just throw the script through the writer’s mill again or ask the actors to improvise some lines on the spot. I mean come on, there’s got to be at least one Russian spy out there with a sense of humor. Right?

This movie does something exceedingly wise and practical. It limits Salt’s physical stunts to what is humanly possible. Whether she is improvising a rocket launcher, jumping back and forth between trucks on a highway, or scaling the side of a building, the character is never doing something that is completely impossible. I can’t tell you how much more exciting it is when the action limits itself to reality. We are at point in the history of special effects blockbusters where almost anything is possible and everything is being done. But the movies tend to forget that large explosions that can be outrun and machine guns that don’t hit anything are not nearly as effective as a simple knife efficiently used. When special effects don’t conform to reality they do not excite, they desensitize. SALT, though ludicrous in plot, does essentially belong in the real world, and in that sense is better than most action movies

It could be better of course. One particular way it can be is by using longer shots. There’s this particular sequence when Jolie’s stunt double is descending an elevator shaft by jumping from steel beams one story at a time. This would be a pretty cool thing to see in the entirety, but the movie cuts the camera angle just before the entire jump is cleared. What this basically means to the astute viewer is that an actual stunt jump was never really completed. The fat dude in the editing room did the trickery not the actor. Now I’m not saying that Jolie’s stunt double should have risked her health and safety to get the shot; I’m just saying it would be really cool if she did. All the great action movie stars take those chances. It is what separates a bona fide athlete like Jackie Chan and Tony Jaa from the fakesters that stand around with their big muscles and big guns and look really pretty while shooting enemies from a comfortable distance. (I have a feeling that “The Expendables” coming later this August is going to be sooo pretty). 

Buster Keaton wasn’t a big guy nor did he ever carry around a big gun, but he did always tell his camera man before every big stunt: “No matter what happens, don’t stop rolling unless I get killed.” And then Buster would do a take and almost get killed. He didn’t have special effects to help him. All he had was an acrobat’s training and mathematics. He either stood in an exact spot or else the falling side of a house would flatten him like a pancake till he was dead. There isn't any color or sound in a Buster Keaton movie but it nevertheless always exciting because when you see Buster Keaton almost get hit by a train in a movie, you know that in reality Buster Keaton was also Almost Hit by a Train. Angelina Jolie may have done a pretty good impression of courage under fire, but she is not a bona fide athlete. She simply looks pretty while pretending.

Is that unfair? Only if the audience doesn’t care. In Asia they certainly do, and they even go so far as turning the depiction of ordinary violence into pure works of art, hence the term, “Martial Arts.” The last great action movie I’ve seen is “Ong Bak,” starring Tony Jaa. Now that’s what I mean by a kick-ass movie. Literally, no strings attached, if you can believe that.

Beowulf 11/18/07

I don't know what Robert Zemeckis is doing here. His last two movies have been entirely motion picture capture CGI Animation. He takes actors, covers them with dots and then digitally restores them in a fantasy land. Which would be cool if the actors looked like people in the final project. Most of the people in Beowulf looks like Sims. They have all the corresponding body parts but they have more in common with robots with rubber skin than people. The technology is not yet ripe, hopefully if Zemeckis hopes to do this sort of thing again, he can finally get it right. If he can't then he should resort to the good example of 'Sin City' and just film real people in front of a green screen. Then he can have his fantasy land populated with real people not androids. I never thought a naked Angelina Jolie could be so unsexy. 
As far as action and spectacle are concerned the movie succeeds. We have a cool Grendel, Sea Monsters, and Fire Breathing Dragon. (Then again, I could say that action and spectacle succeed in any movie nowadays can't I.) I saw this in an IMAX screen although I'm not sure it was in 3-D. I don't think it was, although a few scenes hinted at it. 
They also did a good job I felt adapting the movie from the book, or ancient manuscript as it was. There was a huge makeover with Grendel's mother that draws the two sides of the story together. Most people won't like the very liberal way they fooled with the source material. Personally I didn't much like the story when they made me read it in high school. I didn't much care that they made up half of it. 
It's almost impossible to talk about performances in this movie. The technology they use to bring this movie to life can't make real people. We have a tremendous actor in Sir Anthony Hopkins, but his movements are artificial and his face can't convey true emotion. It's like the guy is wearing a full body suit, not something even the most talented can act through. 
Then we have Ray Winstone in the title role. Here the technology can get creepy. Winstone is a bit chubby in real life. In the movie he has the body of a Greek God. He's got a sick pack of abs and huge defined muscles. Apparently the only body part Ray contributed was his face. Everything else is made up. There is one exception when this stuff actually works, and that's when a charachter is doing something physically impossible. When Beowulf battles sea monsters the effects work. This I think is because we are watching fake people doing fake stuff. When Beowulf has emotional closeups the technology falters horribly. I can't take the robot seriously! I don't feel his humanity.
This too happened with Angelina Jolie. Seeing her in this movie with nothing on really didn't have the impression on me it should of had. 
And I saw John Malkovich's name in the credits but I haven't the slightest idea who he played. Where was he? I have the suspicion it was but a voiceover. I don't know.
Robert Zemeckis is one of my favorite directors and I would gladly pay to see any of his films. This one doesn't change that. I respect that he's on the cutting edge of visual effects but I sincerely hope, for his sake, that he perfects whatever he's trying to do soon. I really don't care too much about all the cool camera angles or effects this type of film provides. I just want to watch a Zemeckis film with people again.